Every week, we speak to families who confidently tell us: “We’re not worried about care fees — our children will look after us at home.
It’s a comforting thought. It feels loving, loyal, and reassuring. But it’s also one of the biggest misunderstandings about dementia, care needs, and what a Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) actually allows your children to do.
This article explains the truth about Lasting Power of Attorneys, home care, and why relying on your children to “just look after you” is rarely realistic — or legally possible.
1. LPAs Don’t Give Children Unlimited Power
A Health & Welfare LPA allows your chosen attorneys (often your children) to make decisions only when you lose mental capacity.
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Request Your Free Estate Planning ReviewBut those decisions must follow strict rules:
- They must be in your best interests
- They must be safe, appropriate, and medically suitable
- They must follow the Mental Capacity Act
- They must consider professional advice from doctors, nurses, and social workers
Your children cannot simply say: “Keep Mum at home so we don’t have to pay care fees.”
That would be illegal.
2. Dementia Care at Home Is Not the Same as ‘Helping Out’
Many people imagine home care as:
- A bit of cooking
- A bit of cleaning
- Helping with medication
- Keeping someone company
But dementia care — especially in the later stages — is clinical care.
It often requires:
- 24/7 supervision
- Safe moving and handling
- Medication management
- Personal care
- Behavioural support
- Fall prevention
- Continence careMonitoring for infections, dehydration, and wandering
Unless your children are trained nurses, carers, or clinicians, they cannot legally or safely provide this level of care on their own.
And even if they are qualified, they would be acting as full‑time carers, not family members popping in after work.
3. Most Children Would Have to Quit Their Jobs
This is the part families rarely think about.
To legally and safely care for a parent with dementia at home, children would usually need to:
- Stop working
- Provide round‑the‑clock supervision
- Manage all personal care
- Handle medical tasks
- Coordinate professional carers
- Be available every day, every night, every weekend
That’s not “helping Mum stay at home.” That’s becoming a full‑time nurse.
Most families simply cannot do this — financially, emotionally, or physically.
4. Local Authorities Can Override Unsafe Decisions
Even with an LPA, if a social worker or medical professional believes:
- The home environment is unsafe
- The care needs are too high
- The attorneys are overwhelmed
- The decision is being made to avoid care fees
…they can override the children’s decision and insist on professional care.
LPAs do not give families the right to place someone at risk.
5. Home Care Is Possible — But Only When It’s Safe
We’re not saying home care is impossible. Many families do it beautifully.
But it requires:
- A realistic care plan
- Professional carers
- Medical oversight
- Adaptations to the home
- A safe environment
- A sustainable routine
And often, it still costs money — sometimes more than a care home.
6. The Real Purpose of an LPA
The truth about Lasting Power of Attorneys is this:
They protect your wishes — not your wallet.
An LPA ensures:
- Your voice is heard
- Your values are respected
- Your care is safe
- Your attorneys act lawfully
- Decisions are made in your best interests
But an LPA does not guarantee that your children can keep you at home, and it certainly doesn’t remove the possibility of care fees.
7. The Most Responsible Thing You Can Do Now
If you want to stay at home for as long as possible, the best steps are:
- Put proper LPAs in place
- Plan realistically for future care needs
- Understand the legal limits of what your children can do
- Explore care funding options early
- Get professional guidance before a crisis hits
Planning ahead gives your family clarity, protection, and peace of mind.
8. Why You Should Still Protect Your Home — Even If You Hope to Stay at Home
Even if your goal is to remain at home for as long as possible, there’s an uncomfortable truth families need to understand: care at home is not free. In fact, it can cost just as much as a care home — often £1,200 to £2,000 per week, depending on the level of support required. That means your home can still be assessed as an asset, even if you never move into a care home.
When Your Home Could Be at Risk
Local authorities can include your property in a financial assessment if:
You need full-time care at home
You require multiple daily carers
Your needs escalate due to dementia
Your savings fall below the threshold
Your children cannot safely meet your care needs
Many people assume the house is only at risk if they move into a care home. That’s simply not true.
How Estate Planning Can Shield Your Home
With the right estate planning in place, you can:
Prevent your home from being counted as a financial asset
Ensure it cannot be forcibly sold to cover care costs
Keep the property protected for your spouse or partner
Guarantee it passes to your children or chosen beneficiaries
Maintain control and peace of mind while you’re alive
This isn’t about “dodging fees.” It’s about making sure your life’s work isn’t lost because of an illness you can’t control.
Peace of Mind for You and Your Family
When your home is properly safeguarded:
You get the care you need without financial worry
Your family avoids potential financial devastation
Your children inherit what you intended
Your wishes are respected, even if you lose capacity
It’s one of the most responsible and loving steps you can take.
Not About Avoiding Care Costs — About Responsibility
Protecting your home ensures that a serious illness doesn’t undo years of hard work and careful planning. It’s a practical, proactive way to look after both yourself and your loved ones.
Keeping Control Even if You Lose Capacity
Proper estate planning means your choices are respected, even if you later lose the ability to make decisions due to illness or dementia. You stay in control of your home, your care, and your legacy.
How You Can Get Free, Expert Guidance Today
You can arrange a free online estate planning review to learn exactly how to protect your home. There’s no cost, no travel, and no need to pay solicitors for this guidance. If you’re a UK resident aged 60 or over, you qualify for fully free advice delivered from the comfort of your own home.
Book your free estate planning review today and secure peace of mind for you and your family.
For official guidance on LPAs, decision‑making and dementia, you can read the NHS explanation here
