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Dementia Anger and Aggression: Understanding Your Partner’s Behaviour

Older adult with dementia showing signs of anger or frustration, comforted calmly by a family member at home

Seeing a loved one become suddenly angry or aggressive can be distressing and confusing. Many families ask: “Why is my partner suddenly angry or aggressive?” Understanding that these behaviours are often a symptom of dementia — rather than a reflection of your loved one’s true feelings — is the first step to responding with empathy and calm.

Why Does Dementia Cause Anger and Aggression?

Anger and aggression are common behavioural changes in dementia. They may appear gradually or suddenly, often because the brain struggles with:

  • Processing information

  • Managing emotions

  • Communicating needs

When someone cannot express confusion, fear, or discomfort in words, these feelings may manifest as frustration or aggression.

Common Triggers

Some typical triggers include:

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  • Feeling overwhelmed by noise, crowds, or fast-paced environments

  • Misunderstanding instructions or conversations

  • Physical discomfort such as pain, infection, constipation, or dehydration

  • Feeling rushed, criticised, or corrected

  • Changes in routine or unfamiliar surroundings

  • Hallucinations, delusions, or misinterpretations of events

These reactions can feel personal, but they are usually neurological, not deliberate.

What’s Happening Beneath the Surface

Dementia affects parts of the brain responsible for emotional regulation, reasoning, and memory. As these areas deteriorate, a person may:

  • Struggle to understand what is being asked of them

  • Misinterpret your tone or intentions

  • Feel threatened by ordinary situations

  • React impulsively without understanding consequences

Recognising that dementia anger and aggression is a symptom — not a reflection of who your partner truly is — can help reduce feelings of guilt, frustration, or blame.

For a trusted overview of behaviour changes, see Alzheimer’s Society – Behaviour and Personality Changes.

How to Help Reduce Anger and Aggression

While you cannot prevent every outburst, there are ways to create a calmer environment:

  • Keep routines predictable and simple

  • Use calm, slow, and reassuring communication

  • Avoid arguing or correcting

  • Step back and give space during an outburst

  • Look for patterns or triggers

  • Check for physical discomfort or medical issues

  • Redirect with comfort, not logic

If behaviours become frequent or unsafe, consult a healthcare professional. There may be medical causes or support options available.